Wedding Myths, Busted!

People get all sorts of ideas in their heads about weddings. What is right, what is wrong, what you simply “must have” or what you should never do. And if you are engaged, you have probably had plenty of well meaning people tell you all about how you should plan your wedding. Well, not all of that advice can be true, and it certainly is not. Here are some of the biggest wedding myths, busted!

It’s the bride’s day. Few things are worse than hearing a bride use “It’s my day!” as an excuse for all sorts of selfish and obnoxious behavior. If you find yourself uttering these words at any point during the wedding planning process, beware, because you are slipping into bridezilla territory! At the minimum, it is the bride and groom’s day. In reality, a wedding is also about the joining of two families as well as sharing the start of a new marriage with your assembled friends.

You’ll lose weight before the wedding. One of the most alarming things that I ever saw at a bridal shop was a bride’s mother trying to convince her to buy a sale gown that was too small for her. “Oh, you’ll lose weight before the wedding”, her mother assured her, as the poor young lady tried to stuff herself into a wedding dress that was two sizes too small. If it was so easy for her to control her weight, she would not have needed to lose any in the first place, right? Never buy a dress that is too small because the price is right or as motivation to lose weight. Buy a gown that is fabulous on you just the way you are now, and if you do happen to lose weight, have it taken in.

It is fine to invite more people than your venue can accommodate because they won’t all come anyway. But what if they do? You might be pleasantly surprised to see how many people actually do R.s.v.p. yes to your wedding (and I guarantee there will be some people who agree to come that you never thought would in a million years). Only invite as many guests as you can actually have in your venue or you may find yourself in a real bind. Some couples choose to have an “A” list of guests that they invite very early, and a wish list of “B” guests whom they will invite if enough of the first group decline. This can work as long as you are very careful that no one ever learns that there was a “B” list.

Everybody puts the bridal registry information in the invitation. Oh, please don’t fall for this one! It is not true, and even if it were, it would be no excuse to do it. Putting the bridal registry information with the wedding invitation is in terribly poor taste; it appears as though you are only inviting guests in the hopes that they will get you something good. There can be more leeway on this issue for the bridal shower invitations, as it is strictly a gift giving occasion, but the registry information should never ever go in a wedding invitation.

Bridal shower gifts should be for the kitchen. What if the bride doesn’t cook? It is an outdated notion that the purpose of a bridal shower is to give the bride the things she will need to be a good little wife. If the bride likes to cook, or has registered for kitchenware, then it is a great choice. But there are many other nice options for shower gifts as well, such as a piece of her bridal jewelry set (or the entire set of bridal jewelry from a future mother-in-law), picture frames, or even a bottle of fine wine. Be sure that the gift you choose fits the recipient, not just an old stereotype.

The bride’s father must pay for the entire wedding. While this used to be true, it is no longer the only scenario. As couples wait longer to wed, they often will pay for most or all of their own wedding. Oftentimes the groom’s parents will also help with wedding expenses. These days, determining who should pay for a wedding comes down more to practicality than tradition.